When the Wheels Fall Off: Reflections from the Mississauga Half Marathon

Disclosures

Before we begin, I’d like to take a moment to express my gratitude to BackRoads Brews & Shoes and Brooks for their generous support throughout my training and preparation for the Mississauga Half Marathon. They provided the shoes I wore on race day, along with the kit I competed in. Thank you to them, for not only equipping me with quality gear but also for believing in my potential. More on the performance of the apparel and footwear shortly.

Don’t Get Passed in the Last Three K

It’s approximately 10:52 a.m. on Sunday, April 27th in Mississauga, Ontario. I’ve just been overtaken by a mountain of a man—broad, muscular, probably 210 to 220 pounds. Moments later, I hear the sharp rhythm of shoes striking pavement behind me, the pace quickening as someone looks to close our gap. The stitch in my side suddenly eases, I return to rhythm and lengthen my stride, determined not to allow whomever behind me to catch up. Glancing to the clock, disheartened, I cross the finish line in what was the worst race I had ever run…

Chill, Thrill, and be Killed

Illuminated in red, the clock displays “2:34 a.m.” and I lay wide awake, restless and sour as the sounds of snoring continue next to me. I toss and turn until the alarm signals the start of our pre-race routine—three hours before game time…

During our light morning jog to warm the body pre-race, I am asked,

“how do you feel?”

to which I respond with,

“heavy.”

It’s a feeling I’ve become accustomed to. Still, I reassure myself that the fluidity and speed will come once the race begins. Until this point, everything had gone according to plan—training, nutrition, travel, logistics. All having been near perfect. We finish our jog with the usual drills and strides, and I find comfort knowing that my legs turn over just fine…

The gun sounds at 7:30am and we are underway, making two loops around City Centre before heading southwest on Burnhamthorpe. It takes the first four or five kilometers before I was able to settle into a pace. Early into the race I was happy to find someone intent on running a similar pace whom I could work with. Together we descend over seventy meters across the next seven kilometers. The descent provides a lighter perception of effort but brings a lingering awareness to the fact that we would climb this very same hill upon our return.

Faced with our first challenge around kilometer 12, we climb 25 meters of elevation in less than 400 meters before hitting the turnaround point at kilometer 12.5. At this point things begin to unravel. Frustrated by another incline, I neglect to attend to what words of encouragement were said by fellow runners still travelling outbound. The next two kilometers deliver another 40 meters of climbing, and by this point my running partner had dropped me. Left alone to battle not just the hills but a wave of thoughts tumbling downward.

From kilometer 15.5 to 17.5 I wrestle with the urge to quit as well as the will to not soil myself; finally surrendering to use a lone porta-potty along Burnhamthorpe, sealing the fate of any previous goal being achievable. The following mile, gaining yet another 30 meters of elevation, feels like Groundhog Day. My only objective now becoming survival until the finish line.

Dressed to Impress

As previously mentioned, the gear I chose to wear on race day was provided to me by BackRoads, and Brooks. However, I was not paid to endorse their products, nor did they have any input or the chance to preview my thoughts before publication.

For my top, I wore their Elite Singlet—maybe the most comfortable race singlet I have ever worn. It’s lightweight, airy, and has a seamless construction, significantly improving its comfortability. Additionally, I always appreciate a top with a slightly longer cut, as it better suits my preference for a tucked-in, tapered look.

For bottoms, I wore Brooks’ Source 9” Short Tights. They performed exceptionally well—never riding up, moving fluidly with me, and offering convenient side pockets when storing nutrition.

As for footwear, I raced in the Hyperion Elite 4 PB’s. The shoes feature a form-fitting upper that provides an excellent lockdown, along with a grippy outsole to increase confidence when going around corners. That said, I found the midsole lacked the level of propulsion that I typically look for, especially when tackling—or being tackled by—those hills during the second half. Similarly, the webbed ARRIS carbon fiber plate caters to those wanting a more flexible midsole, and didn’t offer the sharp, aggressive spring I typically prefer.

Where do I go from here?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated with the course. Could I have done more research? Sure. Could I have opted for a more favourable course with a more competitive field? Absolutely. But none of that changes what we were given. As runners, we dedicate a tremendous amount of time and effort to a single goal—spending months at a time training hard with the hope of improving our physical performance, body composition, and mindset. Heading into this race, I was in the best position I had ever been to achieve my goal: healthy, strong, fit. So, for it to have gone so awry, I can’t help but feel disappointment, frustration, and as though I wasn’t able to fully express what I am truly capable of.

Having had a few days to reflect—and inspired by a similar recollection—I have come to see this experience as an opportunity for growth. Despite the disappointment, I recognize the growth made over the past several months, not just as an athlete, but as an individual. While it’s healthy to acknowledge such feelings of frustration and disappointment, it can be easy to overwhelm ourselves with the numbers on the clock, to let success or failure hinge on a single result. Goals are important—they can provide direction and keep us feeling motivated—but they aren’t everything. In reflecting on this past weekend, I have become more open to the idea that worth isn’t defined by any one result, finish time, or placement. We are more than just runners.

Closing Thoughts

I feel incredibly grateful for the relationships this sport has helped me build, and for the experiences it has provided me. In the end, this sport isn’t all about personal bests—it’s about learning, enduring, and continuing to grow.

- Authored by Mason McDowell